After the Rejection: What Rejection

Throw out all business cards received from the company. Delete all email communication with the company.  Don’t talk about it. Don’t learn lessons.   Don’t dwell on it. Pretend it never happened. Avoid deflation.  In fact, pretend you never got the rejection letter or phone message and send them a letter telling them you have decided you are not interested, that the company was not an appropriate fit for your career expectations.  

It Will Take Time: Oh

You have heard it said that finding a job will take time.  Perhaps 6 months to a year.  One month for every x$K in salary.  Really?  I didn't know that.

Focus on the Positive

Remember, things may be bad for you, but they are worse for others.  Focus on those others.  The more personally you know them, the better.  Talk about their situation as much as you can.  Read articles about how half the world lives on less than $1.00 a day.  Commiserate with others.

Keeping Busy: The Key to Being Successful

Successful people are busy people.  You are a successful person.  You do not have time to hold irrelevant meetings.  Phone rings?  You are too busy to answer.  Limit the conversation.  Someone emails for a meeting?  Email back with only limited times a few weeks out.  What are you doing?  See post on resume. 

8 Hours a Day? No Way!

No one can keep busy 8-10 hours a day on job search  Anyone who can, already has a job.  Find other things to do.  Make a shower and a shave a highlight of the day. Getting to that dry cleaner once a week should be in your Outlook.  Find a hobby or a passion. Something you always wanted to do or learn so you will look back on this time and see that it was used productively.  Sure, as if this will work.  You are too damn nervous about money, and  depressed about your self worth  to be able to do any of this.  Focus on the shower and the dry cleaner.  
  

Build Your Resume in Your Downtime

Give free advice everywhere.  And take credit for it as a consultant. No one ever asks what your daily rate was in a job interview.  Picking the kids up?  You are consulting for an education business. Teaching your kids tennis? You are involved in a training program. In a McDonalds?  Give a suggestion on the placement of their new advertisement.  You just got a new bullet on your resume.  
  

Negotiate with an Eye to the Future

You finally got a job offer.  Since the overwhelming odds are that you will not last in the job for more than 2-3 years, the most important thing to focus on in the negotiation is the severance package.  Trade off current salary and equity for longer severance.  Focus on Cobra.

The Online Search: Search and You Will Find?

You have heard it said over and over again that a job is found through someone you know.  However, there is no better way to make yourself feel that you are doing something in the job search.  It is simply too  frustrating and humiliating to call your same contacts every 2-3 years when you are beginning a search, and then  every two months when you are in midst of a search.   You are not going to do it.  Spend your time online searching all the sites and quickly send those CVs out.  Don’t bother with a long cover letter, no one will read it anyway.
  

The References: Refer a Referrer

Obviously, you are not going to give your previous employer who has let you go.  Given the fear of lawsuits no legitimate company says anything positive or negative. Find a good friend or form of other group of other people looking for work.  Give their cell phone as the number.  Pay a referral service a fee.  Create a fictional person on LinkedIn and have them make shining recommendations for you.  

The Interview: It's Not About You

Spend all your time in the interview focusing on the other person.  Find out what they like.  If they like boating, then you love boating.  Talk about them, not yourself.  You can only get in trouble talking about yourself.  When they ask you what are you strengths of weaknesses, ask them “What are your strengths and weaknesses, so I can better I understand mine”.  When they ask you yours: Deny Deny Deny.  You have no weaknesses.  Why would a company want to hire someone with a weakness.  In fact, be insulted at the suggestion that you have any weaknesses.

Recruiters Don't Work For You

And they never will.  If you are looking for a job, they don't want to talk with you.  They will call you.  And if they do, don't call them back.  Or tell them you are not interested.  Then they will want you more.

Bill Gates Doesn't Do Coffee

You have been told time and time again to go out and network, and to follow up with everyone you meet, because you never know where the next opportunity is going to come from.  Well, it simply doesn't work that way.  You only get opportunities from a position of strength.  If you meet somebody, let themdo the reaching out and following up.  You are a successful person, who doesn't have time for every lead.  You are busy.

The Resume Speaks the Truth.

Then how do you deal with all those gaps between jobs?  With the fact that you have switched jobs every 2-3 years?  Forget it, the resume doesn't work. You will only get a job through your network, through somebody you know. But then, you wouldn't be in this situation if you had a network that worked, if you had good connections.

Accelerate Despair

You have heard it said don't despair.  Well, a truth is that light is only revealed at the darkest moments.  Something always seems to happen right when there is no hope.  Given this, why wait until the despair slowly hits.  Go there immediately. Realize all is hopeless, that it is all your fault, that you have made consistently bad choices and that you will never never be gainfully employed again except in a beneath me low paying hating every day every particle of my existence job.  For if you reach the lowest point of despair now, you are more likely to get that something from out of nowhere opportunity.  Or not.